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Friday, August 5, 2011

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND

so lately people have been like:
"michelle, what's up with your blog,
there hasn't been a post in like a million years."

and i've been like: "yeah. i know. sorry.
what, you actually read this piece of $h..."
anyway.

well, see, the reason is that i
kinda lost my little digital camera.
the one what i take all the pictures with.
so i haven't been taking any pictures of
all the extravagant food i've been making.
but for now i will get creative so as to keep you entertained.

UP NEXT:
CHOCOLATE SHEET CAKE REDUX


PASTA


i made some pasta.
like, the noodles themselves.
with sauce and stuff.

and it was delish.
but hell if i remember what all was on it!

sure looks purdy though, don't it?

TACO PIZZA

so, i've made this twice in the last month or so.
and both times everyone that ate it was like:
"OMFG THAT IS THE BEST PIZZA I'VE EVER HAD, NOM NOM NOM."


(p.s. i love pioneer woman but who needs that many pictures?
it's a little over kill doncha think?
it makes me feel pretty dumb when i read it.
especially the ones of her just adding salt or pepper or something.
it's like, yeah, i don't need a diagram on that. thanks.)

an here's the thing.
it's not like this is hard to make.

"but michelle, i've never made bread
and this involves making dough.
i don't think i can do thaaaat."

shut up. yes you can.
it's easily the easiest part of this whole operation.
and did i mention you can make the dough at any time,
and store it in the fridge for up to a couple of days?
yeah.
that's right.
no excuses.

it doesn't feel right to call this pizza.
it's a taco. on a pizza crust.
pizza taco?
tomayto / tomahto i guess.

pizza-cooking tips:
1. oil and cornmeal the pan.
2. pizza likes to be cooked HOT and FAST. so don't use
a fancy aluminum, even-bake cookie sheet like stupid me did.
use something thin that cooks hot.
3. cook at a min of 375. 400 is better.

the best part is all the fresh stuff you put on later...
just like a real taco!

Monday, June 13, 2011

SAVORY TURKEY PANCAKES

if you've never ventured into the magical land of savory pancakes
or french toast
and have been hiding in the safe,
unassuming world of sweet versions of those things.
you need to take a trip.

this is just some tzatziki mike was whippin up.
we always have tzatziki around.
but ours is more like a garlicky/herby yoghurt.
and i'm fine with that.
and use an entire container of yogurt,
then just put it right back in the same container.

but back to the pancakes.
so we scored a ton of leftovers from a turkey dinner at mom an dad's.
made some pancake batter (minus the sugar and cinnamon)
added some turkey bits,
cran sauce,
peas,
etc etc.

shot of tequila, dins, and movies.

MANGO-RHUBARB-CRUMBLE UPSIDE DOWN CAKE

this happened awhile ago,
so forgive me for lack of specifics here.

but the idea's pretty simple,
let's start from the bottom shall we?
as you can see i browned some butter,
pored it over a layer of rhubarb slices in the bottom of a big pan,
then i probs sprinkled some brown sugar over top.

then i totes made a cake with mango mash in it.
yom.
poured that over the rhubarb.

then i made some quick granola for the top.
put yo
oats, seeds (opt), nuts (opt), wheat germ (opt), ground flax (opt),
in a bowl.
melt together some
butter, honey/sugar, cinnamon and spices
in a pot.
pour that over the oat mixture and stir well.
pack over the top of the cake .

when it's done it will look like this!
but then when you flip it over it will be an amazing, delicious, oozy cake
with crumbly bits on the bottom.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

slothcat. meow!

hard to believe.
we're pretty different.
i swear alot, pretty cynical, crass etc etc.

and she's like a beautiful blonde angel
being all whimsical with food and stuff.

also she doesn't tell you how stupid you are
if you don't know how to make soup,
or can't make a smoothie without a recipe.

she's kind.
and makes good stuff.

so check her out.
not like that!
i mean check out her blog.


sandwiches

when it comes to sammiches,
i go all out.
i make flavoured cream cheeses (you can buy those if you are lazy/really freaking hungry),
i mandoline up entire cukes.
olive tapenade is delicious and easy.
i sautee mushrooms.
i bust up goat cheese, some times with sun dried toms.
i massacre some herbs and make me some pesto.
(i've been re-watching the wire, can you tell?)

hung over on a saturday,
all i wanna do is make a million ingredients
(i'm working on a spreadsheet - no joke)
and make the best damn sammich(es),
and then relax in the sun and let vitamin d help me out with my head ache.
'specially dees ones.

that right there is a
pesto.
avocado.
asparagus.
goat brie.
sauteed mushroom.
veggie pate'.
on a toasted portuguese bun.
sammich.

yep.
dat was tasty.
fo sho'.
the veggie pate' was a little overkill though with everything else.
but i have no regrets.

that monstrosity was a
guacamole.
xtra old chedda.
tomato.
cilantro and parsley.
veggie pate.
cucumber.
pesto.
chevre.
sammich.

"this might be the best sandwich i've ever had."
- james

iced coffee (booze optional but encouraged)

i finally figured it out.
the secret to the best iced coffee, that is.

make coffee.
(i make a 4-shot espresso-ish thing in my bialetti.)
sweeten while it's STILL WARM people.
(that way the sugar/honey/whatevs actually dissolves)
then FREEZE IT.
like in an ice cube tray.
oh ya.
that's right.

for the coffee drink on display,
i used my frozen cubes,
(coffee math time: 4 shots makes 12 cubes, so 3 cubes = one shot)
some coffee liqueur,
ohmyfreakinggodyum.

ya know how commercial iced drinks always have that amazing texture
and taste
and consistency?
THAT'S TOTES WHAT THIS WAS LIKE!!
i couldn't believe it.
i guess because you're not watering down the whole mess with ice.
psh.
water-ice cubes are so old fashioned.
i'm only making coffee and juice cubes from now on!
(p.s. juice cubes are for your juice so it stays juicy,
or to have with rum so it stays...rummy.)

tis a thing of beauty.
a delicious, boozy beauty.

asparagus soup

i looooove asparagus.
and i loooove soup.
but enough about me.
go make this soup!

soup recipes make me crazy.
if you can't improvise a soup,
you either shouldn't be in the kitchen,
or you ain't been there long.

but if you're clueless,
or maybe just feeling a bit brain dead today,
this recipe is about as close to what i did that i can find.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

microwave popcorn PSA

hey all.
i bet you're a little confused that the text
is aligned left instead of centered,
but that's because this isn't you're average recipe post,
this is a health warning.

i wanted things to remain fairly positive up in here.
i never wanted to nag you about how to live your life
or what you should and shouldn't eat.
but i figured what's more positive than saving your life...
from popcorn.
DUN DUN DUN

friends, enemies, frenemies,
do you regularly enjoy popcorn in those microwave-able bags
that come pre-seasoned and flavoured?
please don't anymore.
they are slowly killing you.

and not because of the obscene amounts of sodium and fat,
or unpronounceable ingredients
that you are ingesting when you eat it.

it's the stuff you are inhaling.
some of those artificial ingredients, the ones used for the
BUTTER FLAVOURING
become literally poisonous gases when made airborne.
they cause cancer, birth defects, permanently destroy your lungs,
and can cause changes to your immune system and liver function.

as i am against repitition on the internet,
(always remember that EVERYTHING you post or type online is stored in data banks somewhere, which are machines that have to be maintained and cooled and new ones
are constantly being built as i type just to store what i am typing right now as memory....)
(woah.)

i implore you.
research, spread the word.
i know that there's alot of stuff in the world that's "bad for you"
and it isn't always obvious,
but this seems particularly sneaky.
the VAPOURS from something as harmless as popcorn?
it's a whole new direction food products are going
in order to be irresistible to
and horrible for us.

i don't consider myself a conspiracy theorist.
i don't think corporations TRY to harm us with their products,
but they sure don't seem to care much when they do.
as long as they make a buck or a million while they're at it.

popcorn used to be (and still can be) a very healthy
and CHEAP snack.
if you do not have a microwave,
these can be found in thrift stores for a couple of bucks.
they work great.

just stick to the bulk popcorn in the bins at your grocery store,
avoid the bags of orville and other brand popcorns near to the microwave popcorn,
they might have those flavourings on them.

the most important thing to point out is that
the companies claim to be "changing their formulas" and
removing the so-called "toxic ingredients."
this may be true.
but the chemicals they are replacing them with
are almost molecularly identical and have
been proven to be just as dangerous!
wtf!


diacetyl - causes bronchiolitis obliterans (aka “popcorn lung”)
which is debilitating and potentially fatal. irreversibly destroys
the small airways in the lung. the only treatment is a single or
double lung transplant.
diacetyl:
perfluorooctanoic acid - PFOA - a deadly toxin, exposure has
been associated with birth defects, increased cancer rates, and
changes to lipid levels, the immune system and liver function.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

homemade peanut butter cups

i def didn't make enough of these.
it was really difficult to do with 3 room mates
hovering around eating the ingredients as i was working,
and then scarfing half of them immediately.

basically all you need is some nice chocolate,
(the blocks of milk chocolate "callebaut" from thrifty's
are super delish, by the way:
a big bowl of that stuff melted,
jar of PB
and a spoon
and you've got a great movie-watching snack.)

but ya, where was i?
oh ya some chocolate,
some PB,
some icing sugar.
you wanna mix some of that into the pb to stiffen it,
and it's helpful to use on your fingers to flatten out balls of PB.

if you haven't figured it out by now,
just put some muffin cups into a muffin pan,
put some melted choco in them,
(about 2 teaspoons? whatever - make them any size you want!)
spread it around the bottom,
take a ball of PB and flatten it out,
it should be the size of the muffin cup,
cover with more choco,
chill till you can hold it and eat it with come civility.

there's something about these ingredients being all
flattened out together that just make them irresistible
and even more delicious than off a spoon.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

CARROT BANANA LOAF


i honestly wasn't crazy about this,
so i won't pass on the recipe,
but i iced it with coconut cream cheese icing
and it was a huge hit with the roommates.

i hate making loaves.
they take forever to cook,
they're hard to get not to stick to the pan,
it just makes more sense to me to make cupcake sized things,
or maybe in a shallower, wider cake pan.

i really liked the idea of these ingredients in combination,
but i much prefer my carrot-pineapple-coconut cake.
and i'm also keen to try blending the carrots
and wet ingredients in my Vitamix,
and using a carrot puree instead of grated.
i think it will make a beautiful colour.

Carrot Pineapple Cake (from the Harrowsmith Cookbook, Vol III) (thrifted)

2 C flour
2 1/2 t soda
cinnamon
2 t salt
whisk/ sift together,
then add the rest (below) all at once
and mix till just combined.

1 c oil/melted butter
anywhere between 3/4 C and 2 C sugar, any kind, honey even.
3 eggs
1 C (or one small can) crushed pineapple, well drained
2 C grated or food-processed carrot
1 1/2 C coconut (opt)
1/2 - 1 C nuts/seeds. (opt)

9x13" pan for 40-50 min at 350 F
or cupcake pan for 20 min(?) at 350 F

top with cream cheese icing or just cream cheese and toasted coconut.
or eat it nekkid!
the cake i mean, or i guess you could be nekkid too. if you're into that.

SANDWICH SMORGASBORG


there's been some serious sandwich
and condiment making around here lately.
olive tapenade,
sun dried tomato goat cheese,
caramelized onions,
guacamole,
garlickly yogurt...
all on the same sandwich.
amazers.

this was the sandwich i made after
napping on the couch all day
after only getting a couple hours sleep
after doing keg stands.

i wish you all delicious, memorable sandwiches in your futures,
and successful keg stands.
if you're into that kind of thing.

CHOCOLATE SHEET CAKE

you want some straight up-chocolately goodness?

i made some serious substitutions and i'm still really happy with what i got.
i also made it so thin that i could stack slices like pancakes.
yummmmmm.

so first of all i halved the recipe and made it in a 17"x11" pan.
baked it at 350 for 12 min.

halved the sugar. used brown.

used almond milk instead of butter and milk in the icing.

also i used chickpea flour, as seen below,
so that my wheat-free friend could have some.
this flour comes in other brands.
sometimes it's called pea, chickpea and fava bean flour.

i recommend using slightly more raising agents
and sifting it because
it creates slightly denser baked goods than wheat,
and smells really weird before it's baked,
but it always turns out super tasty.
and obviously it's really good for you.
no one can ever tell the difference.

omg yom yom yom.




Saturday, April 2, 2011

STUFFED CRUST PIZZA

that's right.
and it was amazing.
totes ma new fave.

just some grated cheese held together with yogurt or cream cheese,
onion salt, garlic powder, pepper...

grated cheese mountain.

sauce,
sausage,
peppers,
caramelized onions,
leeks,
broccoli,
asparagus,
cilantro.

cheese.

now the crust is my fave part.

TERRIBLE POST

this is going to be a terrible post because
i can't remember what these foods were.

they look pretty tasty don't they?
i'm pretty sure this was like a curryish stew,
with onion, cabbage, mushroom, carrot....
sauteeing mushrooms before you put em in is so nice.
give em some colour.

these were def delicious roasted fingerlings.
i remember those.
yom.


that's a.m., by the way.